Scrutinising the Self through drawing ( is it possible?)

Maybe it is interesting for me to be self-critical through drawing – a process which also gives me pleasure. It forces me to look at myself in a way that I would not normally, without the ego-centred Ruhul. I draw what I see. I feel  uncomfortable as I see myself wanting to make myself look a particular way. Somehow I am unable to yet capture myself through drawing and so it becomes a work in progress. I also realise writing on the computer is not the same as writing in a journal or on paper. 

Why? Scrutinising the self allows for both acceptance and growth. Shocking me. What are the next steps? Where does my drawing take me from here? What is it that interests me about drawing to begin with? How is that the emotions and energy are transferred to drawings? How do I give form to a blank piece of paper that reflects my emotions and state of being? Amidst it all, I question my own role in society and the world, what is it that I can do with these skills that I have? Is it a case, that I am allowed to just be? that this drawing is only for me, my pleasure only? Or for others to also see? to see the marks that I make as I see the world and the people around me? to experience and draw what moves me, to see what makes me curious? to try and understand what is going through my mind? A state of being, a series of emotions that are bubbling over onto paper?

We shall see over the next coming months as I go back to Dhaka. 

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